File No. 170

Mainly because no one can spell “canopic”
Surgeon: “Did you finish putting that bandage on?”
Jabberwocky: “We mummified the patient, head to toe.”
Surgeon: “Brain out the nose and everything?”
Jabberwocky: “Yup. It was terrible trying to find canopic jars in the Pixis.”

File No. 169

Probably just came back from church, too
Surgeon: “He says he got the wound by messing around on the couch. Apparently there was a knife in the cushions.”
Jabberwocky: “Yeah, he totally didn’t get stabbed by a hooker.”

File No. 168

Jabberwocky should have foreseen how much that would piss off a nurse
Nurse: “What’s wrong with her?”
Surgeon: “We don’t know yet.”
Nurse: “Why not? You did a c-scope.”
Surgeon: “Yes, we saw her colon. We know everything.”
Jabberwocky: “You can read a colon like tea leaves: Tell her future.”

File No. 164

Haldart!
Surgeon: “Man, I can’t get a hold of any psych residents.”
Jabberwocky: “Okay, here’s the plan: I’ll run down the halls yelling, ‘Not the bees, not the bees!’ and when psych inevitably
comes you’ll ambush them.”
Surgeon: “That could work.”
Jabberwocky: “Yeah, just pounce before I get hit with a dart full of Haldol.”

File No. 162

It's not
Surgeon 1: “Did he get dictated?”
Surgeon 2: “He got two. I dictated him and you dictated him. He got dictated twice.”
ER Doctor: “That sounds kind of romantic.”

File No. 160

Or is it a simile?
Surgeon 1: “Cardiac risk moderate? What does that mean? Be careful? Yeah, because I was going to go in there and
start haphazardly start cutting random things. It’s like the ‘Baby On Board’ sticker. Otherwise I was going to smash into
you, run you off the road, but now I see that sticker.”
Surgeon 2: “...good analogy.”

File No. 151

And he can run
MS 3: “Can you even walk with ruptured patellar tendons?”
Surgeon: “Depends on how tough you are. Mine are ruptured right now.”

File No. 149

And that orderly will never look at him that way again
Surgeon: “What’s that on your scrubs?”
Jabberwocky: “Bile. It’s cool, it’s not mine.”

file No. 132

A Down Economy Hits Everyone...Sometimes In The Face
Surgeon: “This next guy was hit in the face with a lamp about a dozen times. It reeks of a domestic case.”
Jabberwocky: “Either that, or there are gangs armed with lamps roaming the streets.”
Surgeon: “That would be much cooler.”

File No. 131

And Their Poor Decisions
Surgeon: “Man, I can’t help up think that, while we’re stuck in here, these people are out there having fun…before they wind up in the Emergency Room.”
Jabberwocky: “I know. We just get to see the aftermath of their good times.”

File No. 129

The Wise Men make it to the 21st Century
Surgery Dr.: “I cleaned my closet last night and found a coffee grinder, a pair of boots I’ve never worn, and the doppler I took to Iraq. Jesus, it was like Christmas.”

File No. 128

And Calgary has a new motto
Surgery Dr.: “I’m going to Canada to practice.”
Jabberwocky: “Where in Canada?”
Surgery Dr.: “Toronto, Vancouver, Calgary: Wherever the bitches are hot.”
Jabberwocky: “Wherever the bitches are hot? That just screams Calgary.”