File No. 167

Which is why MD schools have a “Charades” class
ER Doctor: “He’s a communications nightmare: He has a trach, he only speaks Chinese, and he’s deaf. Awesome.”

File No. 162

It's not
Surgeon 1: “Did he get dictated?”
Surgeon 2: “He got two. I dictated him and you dictated him. He got dictated twice.”
ER Doctor: “That sounds kind of romantic.”

File No. 153

Your health-care professionals hard at work
ER Doctor: “His CT isn’t back yet.”
Jabberwocky: “Your CT isn’t back yet.”
ER Doctor: “I’ll give you a CT.”
Jabberwocky: “I’ll give your face a CT.”
ER Doctor: “...are we done here?”
Jabberwocky: “Yeah.”

File No. 145

Cats Are Jerks
ER Doctor: “Does anyone in the house smoke?”
Patient: “Yes.”
ER Doctor: “Do you have any pets in the house?”
Patient: “Yes, cats.”
Jabberwocky: “Do the cats smoke in the house? Because that would be terrible for your allergies.”