File No. 114

How to torpedo a lecture before it even starts.
Professor: “Would you want to be hooked up to a dream machine where you got everything you wanted, but none of it was real?”
Classroom: “No.”
Edmund Dantes: “Hell yes! Hook me up!”
Professor: “But you would never have contact with another real person again.”
Edmund Dantes: “That might be the best part.”

File No. 039

Prince Charming will only take so much crap, which is why we love him
Student: “Being in the 99th percentile is meaningless. It’s such a large continuum, you need to have a high 99.”
Prince Charming: “You’re meaningless! I’ll take the 99!”
Classroom: *Applause*