File No. 135

And neither of them knows what’s going on
Edmund Dantes: “I know a guy who knows a guy.”
Jabberwocky: “Wait, is the first guy me, who knows the second guy, who is you?”
Edmund Dantes: “...yes.”

File No. 114

How to torpedo a lecture before it even starts.
Professor: “Would you want to be hooked up to a dream machine where you got everything you wanted, but none of it was real?”
Classroom: “No.”
Edmund Dantes: “Hell yes! Hook me up!”
Professor: “But you would never have contact with another real person again.”
Edmund Dantes: “That might be the best part.”

File No. 060

Framing the question is most of the battle
Edmund Dantes: “Do you think I have a substance abuse problem, Jabberwocky?”
Jabberwocky: “No, you’ve got plenty of substance to abuse.”

File No. 051

You can save at least one ear from administrative drivel
Edmund Dantes: “I can’t believe I let both my ears listen to that.”

File No. 041

Only if he doesn’t turn that form in until 2011
Edmund Dantes: “Hey, are you a doctor yet?”
Jabberwocky: “Not for a few years.”
Edmund Dantes: “So…can I list you as my primary physician?”

File No. 040

Why is this on here? Because it was said in 2008
Edmund Dantes: “When do you graduate med school?”
Jabberwocky: “June, 2011”
Edmund Dantes: “Okay, I’m setting my phone alarm.”

File No. 005

iRobot's executive board has already commenced high-fiveing
Jabberwocky: “I just learned about ‘Dermatologic Surgery’, which consists of freezing warts off. That’s something an ill-trained chimp could do.”
Edmund Dantes: “Hell, we could train a Roomba to do that.”