File No. 141

Cats, though...
Rose Red: “Billy Goat Gruff, are you allergic to dogs?”
Billy Goat Gruff: “No, they’re delicious.”

File No. 137

Still Has Nightmares About It
Billy Goat Gruff: “This reminds me of the time Rose Red made me eat a whole apple at once.”

File No. 136

For Being Unclean
Billy Goat Gruff: “The Babylonians made beer, and they didn’t have sterile technique.”
Chicken Little: “And a lot of people died.”
Billy Goat Gruff: “That’s because God was smiting them.”

File No. 134

And tickets are going fast
Chicken Little: “It’s an hour until the next lecture, someone entertain me.”
Billy Goat Gruff: “I’m going to take a dump, but that’s only going to take thirty minutes.”

File No. 124

And as having good taste.
Chicken Little: “Jabberwocky, Sleeping Beauty enjoys the company of people…just not you.”
Billy Goat Gruff: “That’s how we diagnosed her as female.”

File No. 113

Don’t be ridiculous, they’re called drapes.
Test Question: “A 29-year-old man contracted HIV through homosexual activities.”
Billy Goat Gruff: “Was he buying curtains?”

File No. 111

But not in their lane!
Malificent: “I almost got run over by hillybilly teenagers in Alaska.”
Billy Goat Gruff: “Was your tent in the middle of the road?”
Malificent: “Well, yeah.”

File No. 110

I don’t think he’s that lucky.
Billy Goat Gruff: “That’s a match-light briquette. It’s soaked in lighter fluid.”
MS 3: “No it’s not.”
Billy Goat Gruff: “Right, it could soaked in gasoline, or something else that burns. Like a building in Detroit, or the Cuyahoga River circa 1969.”
Jabberwocky: “Or that Vietnamese monk that lit himself on fire.”
Billy Goat Gruff: “Yeah, there could be a chunk of monk in there.”
MS3: “I wonder what he’s doing nowadays.”
Billy Goat Gruff: “Smoldering, if he’s lucky.”

File No. 099

And let’s keep "ferry boats" out of the discussion
Jabberwocky: “And to the right is Bum-gra-la, where all the bums live.”
Billy Goat Gruff: “If this were San Francisco, Bum-gra-la would have a completely different connotation.”

File No. 093

It’s not like they could hear him point
Billy Goat Gruff: “Why are we following you?”
Jabberwocky: “I don’t know, we might as well be following those guys.” *Points to a pair of blind men*

File No. 071

…They mean, “How unfortunate”
Malificent: “My resident’s patient had a heart attack while we were on rounds…right in front of us.”
Billy Goat Gruff and Jabberwocky: “Awesome!”

File No. 062

So long as you have a plan
Billy Goat Gruff: “If you drop a baby, fake a seizure.”

File No. 058

By fourth year you’re not standing in other people’s urine
Billy Goat Gruff: “So I was getting yelled at by a scrub tech and a surgeon, standing in a puddle of urine that wasn’t my own, and I’d been working for fourteen straight hours…and all I could think about was how much better this was than second year. And I liked second year more than first year.”

File No. 056

To be authentic, pronounce esophagus as “e-so-FAY-gus”
Jabberwocky: “So, how did you hurt your esophagus?”
Billy Goat Gruff: “Well, I was sucking on a goat’s foot…”
Jabberwocky: “Why would you do that?”
Billy Goat Gruff: “Usually he likes it, puts him right out. This time, for some reason, he was awrny, and kicked me right in the esophagus.”
Jabberwocky: “That puts them right out? I didn’t know that.”
Billy Goat Gruff: “Clearly, you are not a goat farmer.”

File No. 036

The MS3s attempt to figure out how to get around their hospitals
Jabberwocky: “The only way I’ll be able to find the ‘Birthing Center’ is if some pregnant lady goes whistling by me in a wheelchair. I can see it now, ‘Sorry I’m late, the 3:15 pregnant woman was behind schedule.’”
Billy Goat Gruff: “She stopped to go the bathroom…again!”

File No. 030

It was a lovely ceremony
Chicken Little: “Are you married?”
Billy Goat Gruff: “…to the sea.”
Jabberwocky: “He’s just too cheap to buy a ring.”

File No. 029

When Billy Goat Gruff gets a building named after him, he isn’t stopping at a little picture of himself near the entrance
Billy Goat Gruff: “Make it a totem: ‘He’s got eagle wings coming out of his head, because he’s very intelligent.”

FileNo. 025

Billy Goat Gruff knows a losing battle when he sees one
Billy Goat Gruff: “That was easy.”
Rose Red: “Easy…like your mom.”
Billy Goat Gruff: “I’d disagree, but I have eight brothers and sisters.”

File No. 023

Billy Goat Gruff finds his true calling
Rose Red: “We need something cheap that won’t explode.”
Billy Goat Gruff: “That’s totally me.”

File No. 022

It’s cool, she’ll make new blood
Jabberwocky: “The ‘doctor’ in this question didn’t even do a complete blood count…and his patient had anemia!”
Chicken Little: “My mom had anemia and didn’t even know it.”
Billy Goat Gruff: “Yeah, but that’s why we’re doing these questions…so we don’t make mistakes like this.”
Chicken Little: “It doesn’t matter to me.”
Billy Goat Gruff: “What!?! You mom could have died…and Mother’s Day is like, two days away!”